Hum de dum

I’m not sure why, but I’ve been feeling sort of anti-social lately, and when I try to be social, I don’t feel fully present. So, what have I done since Bunnarchy? Not a ton…

Last week it was really, really nice for two days, and I spent them solo. That was sort of by choice, sort of not. I suppose I didn’t make a huge effort, and was mostly fine spending time with my Kindle instead of people. I was sort of tired of trying: trying to be pleasant, trying to make small talk, and trying to be interested. Being alone was just easier, and I wanted easy.

The last time I did a Meetup event was a brunch over a month ago. Since then, I’ve skipped a wine and book swap and a book club discussion (granted I didn’t have the book with me for the latter, and hadn’t read it in eight years). I just couldn’t convince myself to go. I kept overthinking how hard I thought it could be, even though the other events I’d gone to had been mostly fine. I’m planning to go to a happy hour/free movie Meetup next week, though, so we’ll see.

I have spent more time with my kickball team, including going to a party with a few of them for someone on their other team. I met some cool people there, but didn’t really feel like drinking too much, so I didn’t feel very fun toward the end of the night. (I did stay longer than I said I would, though, so that counts for something, right?) I appreciated being invited and included, though, and they’ve talked about adding me to that team, as well. (If that happens, I’m going to have to play a lot better than I did in our last game!)

I went to two Sounders games in the last week, but that’s a little deceptive with regards to how social I was. The first game on Saturday was a last-minute thing and extremely wet. I was super hungover from a work party the day before, so I didn’t have any alcohol and went straight home after the win. Yesterday I went with a friend and her co-workers, meeting up beforehand at Elysian. Her boyfriend was with her and we didn’t get much of a chance to hang out, but I did talk a lot with her boyfriend’s friend. She and I were kind of the outsiders there, and it turns out we had a bit in common!

So, I hope I start feeling differently about being putting myself out there soon. I wonder if I just got burned out from making so much of an effort in late March/early April, and maybe a quick trip to Arizona this weekend will help. Fingers crossed!